Why You Are Incomparable and 3 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others.
Updated: Mar 13
At a women’s conference, God spoke to me about the importance of uniqueness. Oftentimes, we forget or have yet to realize we are set apart. You are not meant to be like other people. You are not meant to have what others have.
You may have heard this popular quote by Theodore Roosevelt, “comparison is the thief of joy.” This is so true. Most people don’t know they are incomparable. Everyone should know this. If you didn't know now you do. I can prove it to you too. Here is a hint: the answer is at your fingertips.
Before we get into it, let me ask you this: How do you react when you start comparing yourself to someone?
What I learned at a Conference
This wonderful group of women put together their first annual women’s conference. The conference is named Magnify. And in the center of their logo is a thumbprint. There is an interesting reason behind that.
Stop for a minute and look at your thumbprints. Get a magnifying glass if you need to. You’ll find tons and tons of lines and curves. As you might already know, no one else on this earth has the same fingerprints. Not even twins. All prints are unique. Do you see where I’m getting at here?
From the time you were intricately woven in the womb your body changes as you get older. The only thing that doesn’t change is your fingerprints.
Here are some interesting facts about your those prints…
No two are the same
They begin to form in the womb
If you burn them off they will grow back again
As of now, there are about 7.9 billion people on this earth. How insane is it that no two prints are the same? And you would think there’s bound to be a duplicate at some point. But no. This is God’s subtle reminder to tell us we are unique and have a distinct purpose. We are made to be different.
So what does this mean? You won’t have what everyone else has. And not everyone is going to have what you have. That is how it’s supposed to be. And because it is this way we may find ourselves comparing to other people. When we do that we can be unfair to ourselves. But that is not what God intends for us to be doing.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you before you were born I set you apart;...” - Jeremiah 1:5
Why you shouldn’t compare yourself to others
I asked before, “How do you react when you start comparing yourself to someone?” In all seriousness, think about this. Are you quick to shut it down? Or do you fall into a rabbit hole of negative thoughts? Some people get themselves down by overthinking. Sometimes it’s to the point where they hurt their own feelings. All because they don’t have what someone else does. This isn’t healthy.
It doesn’t have to be materialistic things. It can be personality traits. I know in the past I’ve brought myself down. I’ve envied someone else’s boldness and freedom to be themselves in front of others.
Most often comparison can lead to this:
All these steal your joy! They steal your peace. Don’t give comparison that kind of power over you. That is a tactic of the enemy.
If someone has something you don't, it's for them. Not for you. Now that doesn't mean it will never be for you.
It can take years for answered prayers. And yet another may receive what we think is ours. When we start to compare we can feel abandoned by God because He’s not giving us what we’ve prayed for. Try looking at it this way: What you call abandonment is you being set apart. You might need to go through a process before what’s intended for you can take its place. But you are not abandoned or forsaken.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8
Not only are you incomparable, but you are also no match for anyone. If someone has more than you don’t use your time and energy to outdo them. We are all going in the same direction but it doesn’t mean we’re running on the same course. Life is not a competition.
If this is what you struggle with let's try something. Let’s try to replace those negative emotions with something good.
What to do instead of comparing yourself
Don’t allow yourself to feel the negative effects of comparison. Instead, let it motivate you to do something good.
1. Practice gratitude- be grateful or content with what you do have. There may be things you have others are praying for. Once you become appreciative of what you have it will change your mindset.
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
2. Be happy for others- be genuine in rooting for others’ accomplishments. Whether they bought the car you wanted or went on a trip you wanted to go to. Pray for safe travel. And if you can, tell them how happy you are for them. Show encouragement.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice,...” Romans 12:15
3. Get inspired- instead of becoming envious of someone be inspired by them. For example, you’ve been watching someone singing on the worship team wishing it was you. If you feel God has placed in your heart to be on the worship team connect with them. Learn from them. And if it’s according to God’s will, you will get there.
I mentioned before that I have envied people for being bold and free to be themselves. I still catch myself doing that BUT I let it challenge me to step out of my comfort. I have come to be at peace with who I am at the moment. I see myself as a working progress and know I have room for growth.
“A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Proverbs 14:30
One body in Christ
So if you ever find yourself comparing with someone else you can look at your thumbprints. This should always be a reminder that you are set apart. But also think of it this way. We are the body of Christ. And like a body, there are many parts that make a whole. You are one part of that body and you have a specific purpose.
And just because you lack something, it doesn't mean you'll never get it. God does give us the desires of our heart. But only if it's according to His purpose.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Don't let it have power over you. Give those three tips a try and let me know how it works for you.