- The Blameless Life
My Testimony Part II: How God Pulled Me Out of the Dark Pit
Updated: Apr 13, 2022
Per the previous post, as you read I was in a dark place. I saw no hope I had nothing to live for. So I wanted to end it all. God said no. At the time I was not pleased with it. But now I am forever grateful.
The last two years of high school
Junior year wasn’t so bad only because I made a friend I clicked very well with. She was a foreign exchange student from the middle east. She was only there for one school year. But having her in my life at the time meant a great deal. At last, I had a real friend and we had many laughs together. Still, I didn’t confide in her about what I was dealing with. I thought I could put it aside and it would go away.
I felt better but I was still unhappy.
There were several reasons why I struggled to find joy and happiness:
I didn’t know Jesus
I didn’t tell anyone what I was going through
That was my problem.
It wasn’t until senior year that I befriended a Christian. A true authentic Christian. There was something about her that led me to confide. I don’t know why but I told her what was going on. She wasn’t judgmental or dismissive. And it went very well. She shared a little about her personal struggles too.
One day, I had overheard her talking to someone about Jesus. I was so shocked by her comment I interrupted their conversation. “What do you mean Jesus died for us?”
From that moment on I became interested in this man Jesus.
During spring break of 2012, I was home alone for the majority of the time. I felt the truest loneliness and I see now how God arranged it that way. On one of those nights, I had the urge to read the Bible. I had one I opened once years ago. I opened it this time to the book of John and was hooked.
From then on I began my journey as a Christian.
Post Salvation
Little by little I noticed a change in me. Remember emo me? I used to write dark poetry in this small journal. I came across it while doing some cleaning that summer. I opened that small notebook and started reading.
Overwhelmed with emotion, my eyes flooded and I started weeping. They were tears of joy. I was not the person who wrote that anymore. God took away those sad, dark emotions and replaced them with gratitude and joy.
But let me tell you guys, it was not easy. The first months I was a Christian the enemy attacked me. No, it wasn’t physical. It was psychological. I got into another depression but this was spiritual. Yes, I'm saved but the enemy was trying to take away my peace.
“God doesn’t love you. Why would he love you?” Ridiculous things like that flooded my mind. It didn’t stop me from pursuing God. And at one point it went away.
“Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
The Role of a Christian
That Christian friend I mentioned earlier, was a source of godly inspiration to me. She did her duty as a Christian and talked about the Gospel to others. And because of that I overheard and became interested myself.
Even though she was younger than me she mentored me. I got invited to church, church camp, and given resources and encouragement. She was patient and loving. All the things to help me grow in my new faith.
That is the role of a Chrisitan. To offer biblical counsel and hope in Christ.
As a result, these are some of the things God gave me:
A relationship with Him
A second chance in life
Hope and a future
Purpose
Joy, pure joy
I live every day with gratitude and often share my testimony with people. I will continue to share what God gave me. To share my testimony is to share the love of Christ.
If you are struggling with anything at the moment please reach out. Email me at theblamelesslife@gmail.com or direct message me on Instagram. Don't ever feel you have to deal with anything alone. Have someone pray for you or give you biblical counsel.
